


Detectable Extensions

by SolarMorrigan



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: A Collection of Stories, M/M, my title is terribly clever no I didn't come up with it five seconds ago, some are related and some stand alone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:05:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9587102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarMorrigan/pseuds/SolarMorrigan
Summary: A collection of odds and ends, headcanons, drabbles, and other Fantastic Beasts bits previously posted to Tumblr. Mostly Newt-centric, AU, with honestly quite a bit of Graves/Newt thrown in. Specifics for each short given as new chapters are posted





	1. Misanthropy

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I'd collect all the bits and bobs from Tumblr and dump them all in one place for easier finding and/or viewing. A brief description (if possible) and any necessary warnings will be posted at the beginning of each chapter. Some stories are connected to each other and some stand alone; that will also be noted

Okay, okay, but let’s just get something straight here. Newt Scamander has very little faith in humans. He literally called them “the most vicious creatures on the planet.” In all likelihood he probably has very little interest in associating with other people beyond a select few, unless they somehow further his goals or prove themselves to not be terrible and self-serving

So. Enter Percival Graves

Graves, who sees Newt and hears him talk about his fantastic beasts and sees him interacting with the creatures and sees someone kind and gentle. Graves, who sees Newt interacting with other people and keeping his head down and his eyes averted and his posture as unassuming as possible and sees someone _vulnerable_. And Graves looks at himself and finds a person who has seen the very worst that humanity has to offer. He’s gone face to face with the scum of the wizarding world and sometimes the no-maj world, too, and he’s locked that scum up in holding cells in the basement of MACUSA and he’s gone back out and found _more_. And he can catch these terrible people because he knows how they think and he knows how to subdue them and hurt them and in his eyes this makes him much too dark a person to spend time around brilliant, vulnerable Newt

Newt, who is possibly the only other person in the vicinity who thinks less of humanity than Graves

So when Newt actually, for some amazing and terrible reason, shows _interest_ (like, actual, romantic interest, what?) in Graves, Graves balks. No, no, no, this will not do. Graves is a dark person, Graves is a damaged person. Graves spends his time around the worst people have to offer- he’s made a career out of it. Graves has been captured and tortured by the darkest wizard of their time- he’s not exactly a stable individual. And Graves has made his peace with this; this is who he is. He’s good at his job and he’s good at protecting the good things in the world but he won’t ever be a _part_ of the good things in the world and he tries to tell Newt that he would simply no good for him, his life is too _dark_

And Newt actually fucking laughs

Not a whole lot. Just a little disbelieving laugh because are you serious, Percival? Are you actually fucking serious?

Are you coming up to Newt Fucking Scamander and telling him that he doesn’t know the _darkness_ in the world? Like Newt wasn’t in the war, watching human beings tearing each other apart. Like he wasn’t in the war sending dragons out to be part of that wholesale murder (dragons who had never done anything to deserve being _used_ by humanity, dragons who were just creatures caught up in the war who didn’t deserve any of this). Like Newt hadn’t been given some token job at the Ministry of Magic because he was Theseus Scamander’s baby brother and like he hadn’t seen the way people treated each other there, when lives _weren’t_ on the line. When people stabbed each other in the back for a promotion and hurled blame at each other for a little taste of favoritism. Like Newt didn’t later move onto the Beasts Division and see other wizards just go out and fucking slaughter magical creatures because they couldn’t be bothered to learn how deal with them, because _murdering_ them was just fucking _easier_. Like Newt didn’t finally get the hell out of there and begin travelling the world only to find that it was one hundred times worse because now the people he met didn’t even have to pretend they were following the law and they did whatever they damn well pleased. People would abuse creatures and harvest them for parts and leave them for dead and experiment on them and enslave them, cut off their lucky feet, skin their magical pelts, slit their throats and spill their miraculous blood

Do you want to see darkness, Percy, because Newt’s got a pensieve lying around in his case somewhere and he will fucking show you the terrible things he’s seen people do, up close and personal

And Graves has scars from magic, the kind that don’t ever really fade and sometimes don’t even heal over right, and those were caused by people. And Newt has even more scars because some of his beasts have sharp claws and teeth and burn hot but they’ve only ever struck him out of fear. But then he has scars on top of all his scratches and bites and burns, the ones caused by humans with weapons and wands and words… Newt will proudly show off the burn mark he got rehabilitating a baby dragon somewhere in Scandinavia, but he will carefully hide away all the marks left by humans and no, Graves, he isn’t going to show you those because the less said about those the better

Which is how, in a roundabout way, Newt convinces Graves that of course he’s not going to bring fucking _darkness_ into Newt’s life. The darkness is already there. If anything, maybe Graves can shed a little light, because maybe he spends time around bad people, but he does it to protect others. Maybe Graves doesn’t consider himself a part of the good things in life, but Newt damn well does. Newt adds Graves to the scant few people he’s met who really do want the best for other people- who really do care (even if his knowledge of magical creatures could use a little work). Graves is one more tally mark in Newt’s woefully short “Reasons Humanity Isn’t Completely Terrible” column

And then somehow, Graves becomes the “people person” out of the two of them, if that can really be said of either man, because at least Graves learned how to pass himself off as somewhat personable because he had to deal with politics, where Newt never really bothered. And while Newt pretty much wrote humanity off after a certain number of encounters and just buried himself in beasts, Graves had to keep working with people and every so often he saw a reason to keep working for it- every now and then he’d see someone’s kindness and willingness to help and he’d remember why he was opposed to dark wizards in the first place. Not just because they were breaking the law (though there was that, because really, there were laws for a _reason_ ) but because they were hurting the good people out there

And there _are_ good people out there. And maybe it’s a little easier for Graves to see then than it is for Newt but that doesn’t mean Newt _doesn’t_  see them

It just means Graves will have to stick around until they can both see the light in the world


	2. Research Purposes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt is a magizoologist, a MACUSA consultant, and a complete puzzle to Percival Graves

So Newt works for MACUSA. Theseus is betrayed but Theseus will get over it because MACUSA is letting Newt actually fucking _change_ the beast laws and the Ministry of Magic was practically paying Newt to just keep his mouth shut for five consecutive minutes about the mistreatment of creatures, so. No contest. Theseus can suck it (and Newt means this in the most affectionate way possible)

Anyway, Newt is working for MACUSA and when the aurors encounter a case that appears to be beast-related, they obviously go to the magical beasts division. And obviously when it’s a high profile or otherwise very important case, they go straight to Newt. Well, honestly, a lot of the aurors go straight to Newt anyway, because they know Newt and the beasts division is _weird_ and sure, so is Newt, but at least they _know_ Newt and that is how Graves ends up working with Newt a lot more often than he thought he would. And Graves does not like to be unprepared, so Graves does research

Graves is very good at research

Even if it’s boring. It’s a very good skill to have and Graves is very good at it and yet he manages to dig up very little about Newt Scamander

He finds out about Newt’s polycore wand; he does not, however, find out where Newt _acquired_ the wand since his original wand was snapped when Newt was expelled from Hogwarts. Right, Graves also learns that Newt was expelled from school about a year and a half before finishing, under what seem to be pretty bullshit circumstances. But that was years ago and not something Graves can do anything about, so he files it away in the back of his mind in favor of other information. Like the fact that Newt worked with dragons during the Great War. There actually isn’t a lot of information on that at all because apparently the work with dragons was rather top secret and how Newt stumbled into that is something of a mystery in itself. After the war, Newt’s life is a bit more documented; he got a job at the Ministry of Magic and worked his way up to the magical beasts division and was then commissioned to write a book about the fantastic beasts he was so passionate about and then- and then Newt pretty much falls into obscurity again

Every so often he’ll pop up in a customs report, but Graves gets the impression that Newt didn’t always cross borders legally because the man has to have been to many more countries than his passport says. And then Newt came to the United States with a case full of illegal, undeclared creatures and caught Grindelwald. There was some stuff in between that, but that was basically the gist of it. That was all pretty well-documented and Graves wasn’t interested in that. What Graves was interested in were the huge fucking holes in the rest of Newt’s life story. How is he supposed to work with this man when half his past is a total blackout?

And no this is not just personal curiosity, it is an entirely professional necessity. Of course it is

In any case, Graves makes a few inquiries. Discretely. So, naturally, the entire auror department somehow finds out and thinks Graves is _interested_ in Newt, as opposed to just interested and then Graves gets a waterfall of information, the veracity of which is highly dubious

One of the aurors heard from someone else that Newt trained dragons during the war (though to do what, no one is certain). Someone else heard that he rode the damned things. One of the junior aurors swears up and down that Newt has a _tattoo_ of a dragon until Graves tells them to shut the hell up. The least suspect information Graves receives on the subject of Newt and dragons if from a witch in the beasts department who says that “Mr. Scamander seems to have an awfully deep knowledge of the difference between the scales of an ironbelly and a horntail.” Graves isn’t entirely sure what to do with that information, aside from hope Newt doesn’t actually have any fucking dragons in his case, and files it away

On Newt’s travels, there are even more rumors. In Haiti, Newt reportedly faced down a horde of inferii to save a gazeka (which Graves finds to be absolute bullshit because when he asks Newt if he knows anything about gazekas, he finds out that the beasts are not from Haiti at all, and while Graves learns an awful lot about gazekas, he does not learn whether or not Newt was ever in Haiti). Despite sporting a notorious dislike for humans (wizard and non-magical alike), Newt apparently has an in with a herd of centaurs in France (and while Newt was very probably in France at one point, Graves isn’t sure about the whole centaur thing). While traveling through Norway, Newt faced a giant and won (Graves dismisses this one altogether because why the fuck would Newt be fighting a giant; it makes no sense). Graves does, of course, read Newt’s book. It sheds quite a bit of light on where Newt _was_ while he was travelling, but very little on what did while he was there. Newt himself is a dubious source of information because he gets caught up in the specifics of whatever beast he was studying at the time and doesn’t tell anyone much at all about the circumstances under which he was studying it

Graves also receives a lot of completely useless information that he cannot fathom why people would think he wants to know at all. And yet he learns that Newt actually will drink coffee, but prefers it sweet with as much cream as he can get away with. He likes his tea with honey, not sugar, and no cream. He learns Newt’s favorite color seems to change regularly, considering Graves gets a slightly different answer from anyone who’s asked Newt, but the answer most often given is blue. He learns that Newt likes to keep something soft on his desk (often something living if it’s amenable, but his old scarf will do in a pinch) that he strokes when he’s stressed. Again, Graves has no idea what he’s supposed to do with this information and he is also not certain why there’s suddenly honey stocked by the coffee maker in the auror department or why there’s always extra cream there now and why Graves has suddenly acquired a small collection of soft knitwear that sits in strategic spaces around his office

If anyone asks, Graves had nothing to do with any of that

Finally, since his own department is apparently useless, Graves bites the bullet and does what he’s been avoiding since Newt became a full time employee of MACUSA in the first place- he owls Theseus

Theseus sends back a letter that is full of equal parts mockery and threats, because Theseus obviously has the wrong end of the stick and Graves is not asking about Newt because he’s _interested_ , he’s simply interested. Newt is a puzzle and Graves likes to solve puzzles

Graves receives a second letter advising him to ask Newt himself

Theseus receives a letter telling him that he’s an asshole and of course Graves tried asking Newt, but Newt avoids the subject of anything personal like a seasoned criminal

Graves receives a letter telling him that he’s a twat and has he tried sitting Newt down in a quiet place with a cup of tea and asking him about Hogwarts

And what the hell was that supposed to accomplish? Hogwarts was ages ago and very likely a bad memory considering how Newt’s schooling ended and how will asking about it in any way tell Graves about what Newt did _after_ he left school?

But it just happens that they end up somewhere nice and quiet and Graves has a fresh cup of coffee and Newt has a hot cup of tea and so Graves figures why the hell not and asks Newt about his time at Hogwarts

And that is how Graves learns that Newt was so nervous on the train ride to school that he nearly threw up. He learns that Newt was woefully unprepared for the sheer _noise_ of the Great Hall, but at least the Hufflepuff house was cheering for him, so he soldiered through it. He learns that Newt never did get used to the crowds of students or the noise and that Newt became adept at finding ways to class that avoided the shuffling masses. He learns that Newt went into the Forbidden Forest far more times than he was ever caught for it and he learns that Newt doesn’t for a moment regret his expulsion but that he doesn’t like to talk about the _why_. He learns that Newt didn’t feel quite as heartbroken as he thought he should have when they snapped his wand, because beasts didn’t care if you had a wand or not

Graves learns that Newt acquired a new wand when he entered the war. He learns about Newt’s favorite dragon from the training camp and he learns about how Newt’s favorite dragon fell to the earth and never rose again and he learns that the story still makes Newt misty-eyed. He learns that Newt cracked a couple of ribs and broke his leg in three places from that fall and apparently didn’t actually notice until he woke up in a hospital outside the warzone

Graves learns about Newt’s job at the Ministry after that, and how mundane it all felt after being on the back of a _dragon_ and how hypocritical it felt to watch his fellow employees exterminate the very creatures Newt had befriended as a child. He learns about Newt packing his things the very same day he signed the contract to write his book and never looking back. He learns that Theseus sent Newt a fucking howler when he learned that Newt had just up and left, but he assures Newt that Theseus was proud of him all the same

Graves learns an awful lot more than he thought he would just by giving Newt a cup of tea and asking him a simple question. And at the end of it, when they’ve been sitting for hours and their drinks are gone, Newt apologizes for talking so long and Graves waves off his apologies because he _wanted_ to hear all of that. Because he was curious. Professionally.

And personally.

And Graves decides that he is pleased to be working alongside Newt Scamander, despite the fact he is a puzzle from which there will always be pieces missing. It gives Graves something to look for, and he likes that too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Newt's life events sound at all familiar, it may be because I expanded on these ideas a lot in [another story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9586889).


	3. The Beasts Department

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Newt has been appointed the head of MACUSA's magical beasts department, but aurors had him first

Okay, let’s get one thing straight. The auror department does not avoid the magical beasts department. When aurors come across a case that very obviously involves some kind of magical beast, they do not drag their feet when going down to the beasts department to find an agent. And the aurors are most certainly not _afraid_ of the wizards from the beasts department. Because that would be utterly ridiculous and slanderous libel, besides. The aurors are not _afraid_ of the beast agents

It’s just that the agents from the magical beasts department are _weird_ (pot, kettle; the aurors fail to see the connection, however)

You never know who you’re going to get from the department if you need an agent; it could be that one witch who tried to learn how to speak pixie and, for all anyone knows, actually _succeeded_. Or it could be that wizard who is as likely to completely obliterate the beast as he is to ship it off somewhere else, depending on the day. There’s also that one agent who has a lot of unsettling pictures of centaurs around their workspace and, honestly, the less said about that person, the better. Anyway, the beasts department is a mixed bag, but you’re more likely to get someone completely bizarre and possibly unstable than you are to get someone easy to work with

And then there’s Newt

Newt Scamander, who was hired on by MACUSA to fix the damned magical beasts department because the last time they sent agent Green out into the field, it took them two days to find and obliviate all the no-majs who were nearby at the time because trolls apparently make for very large explosions and it was, to say the least, incredibly unprofessional (and horrifying, yes Mr. Scamander, please stop making that face)

So Newt set to work shoring up the beasts department. Those who were already assigned to the department were given the choice to move to another department, if they felt they were not suited to work with magical creatures, or to attend training on how, precisely, to deal with magical creatures without _bloody blowing them up_ (agent Green was fired, by the by, despite having been cleared on charges of blowing up a troll; no one is sure how Newt made it happen, but no one can get any answers out of him). So that took care of a few agents right there. Then Newt hired a few more in and while the… possibly dangerously unbalanced levels of the department went down considerably, the eccentricity levels skyrocketed (the centaur-obsessed agent got to stay, and their desk is still avoided)

But there’s Newt. And the aurors know Newt, because Newt helped out with the Grindelwald case (actually, Newt pretty much brought the Grindelwald case to their attention and then solved it for them, but y’know, semantics) and so he was around quite a bit making statements and filling people in on the properties of obscurials and assuring them he knew they were under orders and they didn’t _understand_ , they otherwise would never have killed that boy (it’s not an entirely believable performance, but he does ease up around them after a bit, anyway). Then, after all that is said and done, Newt spends a lot of time around the department talking to Tina Goldstein, newly reinstated after the Grindelwald case. Bits of gossip go around about them but what else is new? Offices are dull and people gossip. Then, of course, Mr. Graves finally returns from heavily enforced medical leave and Newt starts spending a lot of time around _him_

Which is weird

But Graves just takes it in stride. Invites Newt into his office and offers him a seat polite as you please, where Newt proceeds to set up camp and work on his book in an out-of-the-way sort of manner and that’s even weirder

But the aurors get used to that. Believe it or not, they’re glad to have their boss back and even though Newt can be something of an annoyance, he’s _their_ annoyance. Auror Perkins annoys the shit out of everyone, but he’s still one of them and so they put up with him. And now Newt is kind of theirs, so they put up with Newt, too. They make Newt their unofficial mascot, which is meant to be a gesture of affection, not some sort of cruelty (it sometimes takes Newt a bit to sort out the difference between the two, but the aurors wait). They don’t even mind when Newt looks over their shoulders at cases now and again- they don’t even mind when Newt points out things they miss (no really, they don’t mind at all, they swear, but maybe Newt would like to go sit in Graves’ office again now thank you)

Newt’s tendency to comment on their cases comes in handy now and then, when there’s evidence of magical beasts that the aurors don’t know enough about to pick up on right away. It’s very useful information to have, really. That is, in fact, how Newt is instated as a member of MACUSA’s magical beasts department in the first place

The aurors are sort of sad to see him go (not least because Graves becomes far more ill-tempered without Newt sitting in his office acting as some sort of tension buffer)

But, back to the aurors not being afraid of the beast agents- they’re _not_. The beast agents are just weird is all. Unsettling

But Newt- they know Newt. Sure, Newt is also weird, but Newt is still _theirs_ (because once the aurors claim something, you’ll have a very difficult time prying it from their hands; Newt may officially work for the magical beasts department, but he’s still the auror department’s mascot and that means something, damn it)

So when it comes to any sort of beast-related activity that the aurors really _have_ to be involved in (if they can pass the case off to the beasts department and be done with it, so much the better, but that is unfortunately not always the case), they will go immediately to Newt. One could almost liken it to a child running immediately to their mother, if one fancied _really_ offending the aurors

It doesn’t matter if it’s something as unthreatening as a fairy infestation; Newt hears about it first. And as much as Newt loves seeing the aurors now that he isn’t a fixture in their department, and as much as Newt would love to go on every case they bring him (and really, he would), Newt has _other_ responsibilities now and he has to _delegate_. He has to assign other agents to the cases because he knows they’re perfectly capable of handling it and he’s very sorry but no he cannot come along personally he has to see to the relocation of a hippogriff in about fifteen minutes and surely you understand why it’s important for someone experienced to be present for that, of course you do, now take agent Bloom, she’ll see you right

So the aurors begrudgingly accept that Newt isn’t _completely_ theirs anymore. They have to share him with the rest of the building because he’s kind of like a department head and he’s kind of busy. That does not mean, however, that Newt stops going out in the field completely. Oh, goodness, no. No one is sure if Newt actually sleeps, but he seems to be preternaturally good at either completing or avoiding paperwork and spends actually quite a lot of time with the members of his department or out on cases that really _do_ require his expertise (no, the fairies still don’t require his expertise, please stop asking) and in this the aurors are quite smug

And it is in this way that Newt receives his first on-the-job injury (well- his first on-the-job at MACUSA injury, anyway). And despite Newt’s assurances that he is _completely_ fine and that he must now contain the beast, it’s only Mr. Graves’ interference that keeps Newt from acquainting his face with the pavement when he passes out

Usually _fainting_ is grounds for teasing amongst aurors but, to be fair, Newt did lose a rather impressive amount of blood and still managed to subdue the creature enough that the aurors could contain it while Newt was busy being out cold, so they figure he gets a pass

And as much as the members of the magical beasts division might want to pay their boss a visit in the hospital and ask him all about the case which landed him there in the first place, they find that there’s absolutely no room because the damned aurors have somewhat aggressively taken up residence and will only move if one of the healers shoves them really hard (except for Graves and Goldstein; one of them is always beside Newt and no amount of shoving would make a difference)

Because Newt may have been heading up the magical beasts division and Newt may have been busy doing other things and Newt may have been publishing a book and the aurors may have had to share him with the rest of the building and soon, very probably, a good portion of the world, but Newt started out as _theirs_. And they’re not about to let him go (unless Graves instructs them to, because it’s unwritten law that Graves has access to Newt above all and you don’t argue with that)


	4. Damages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuing adventures of Newt the department head. Newt's job would be much easier if people would learn to listen to him. Everyone else's job would be much easier if Newt would learn to communicate properly.
> 
> Warning for blood and non-graphic bodily injury

As much as Newt enjoys being out in the field, it’s largely done with members of his own division now. The aurors mostly only tag along if there’s someone who needs menacing or arresting or if, maybe, Graves is feeling particularly vindictive and wants to either torture Newt with one of his bothersome aurors or wants to torture one of his bothersome aurors with Newt. But for the most part, magical law enforcement is not really a necessity in most of the magical beast cases. Newt really only finds himself with a whole flock of aurors when a rather high-profile case arises and someone with _experience_ is needed on the scene, or when something exceedingly dangerous comes into New York. Newt is honestly fonder of the latter occurrence- not that Newt will call anything exceedingly dangerous. Really, a tea kettle can be exceedingly dangerous if you wait until it’s hot and swing it hard enough. You must treat everything correctly.

The aurors haven’t stopped asking Newt just who or what he beat up with a tea kettle since he employed that particular example and Newt sort of regrets mentioning it.

In any case, while he may insist nothing is _dangerous_ , exactly, he will advise _caution_. Beasts have defense mechanisms and will use them when threatened. The aurors have learned to gauge how dangerous something actually is based on how much caution Newt advises. For instance, when they learn that someone has managed to smuggle a Re’em into the city and Newt advises they all _stay back_ , they take it to mean that this thing that resembles a very large ox and has very sharp horns is probably somewhere in the realm of very dangerous and they _stay back_.

Except for Stevens.

Because Stevens is new and Stevens has never been out to help coral a large beast before and Stevens is unfamiliar with what has been informally titled the Scamander Warning System (since Newt refuses to use the official classification system because it’s “misleading,” and everyone is fairly certain that one day Graves is going to roll his eyes so hard he won’t be able to come back from it). So when Stevens sees a very large, golden ox with very large, sharp horns pacing restlessly around the warehouse they found the thing in, Stevens apparently decides what Newt meant by “stay back” was “crowd in.” Or something. That’s really the only thing Newt can think of when Stevens attempts to _sneak up_ on the Re’em.

“ _Stop what you are doing._ ” Newt tells Stevens, his voice low but no less firm for it.

“You need to get it in your box, right?” Stevens asks, gesturing vaguely to one of the temporary habitat boxes Newt has charmed for such occasions, “I got an opening.”

“ _What opening?_ ” Newt hisses and laments the fact that Graves is leading a team outside the warehouse to round up the last of the smugglers and perform crowd control because he trusts Newt to keep the team inside the warehouse safe and contain the Re’em and that would be so much easier if Stevens would _listen_ to Newt or if Newt could actually remember Stevens’ name. As it is, he can only take a few careful steps in the young auror’s direction and try hissing at him again. “ _Stop where you are and come back towards me._ ”

“Get your box ready, Mr. Scamander,” Stevens insists, “It’ll be just like a rodeo.”

“A _what?_ ”

Someone else calls Stevens’ name from behind Newt, attempting to sound authoritative about it, but that really only serves to call the Re’em’s attention in Stevens’ direction, which might have been what Stevens wanted before he realized just how fast Re’ems were capable of moving. Momentarily frozen as he attempts to figure out which direction he’s supposed to dodge when the thing he is attempting to dodge has a head nearly as big as his body, Stevens is wholly unprepared for someone to grab him from behind and apparate. By the time he realizes he is now outside the warehouse, Newt has already dropped his hands back to his sides, leaving Stevens to turn and face him.

“I realize you have likely never seen a Re’em before, but do you have even a passing familiarity with large beasts of any sort?” Newt asks.

Stevens shakes his head.

“Livestock, maybe?” Newt suggests.

“I… grew up in the city.” Stevens admits.

Newt’s mouth screws to the side in a sort of quashed disappointment and huffs something to himself that sounds awfully like “ _city people_ ” and Stevens tries not to feel terribly ashamed. The Re’em is making highly dissatisfied noises from inside the warehouse and Graves is approaching them from the perimeter looking highly dissatisfied himself. “What is going on in there? And what the hell are you doing _out_ _here_?”

Stevens snaps to attention but says nothing, leaving Newt to report to Graves instead. “Slight complication. Easily fixed, I’m sure. In the meantime,” Newt glances at Stevens, “I think this person would be better suited to crowd control. For now. And perhaps indefinitely. Please don’t send him after any more of my animals, Percival.”

Graves’ glare fixes solely on Stevens and Stevens tries very hard to shake the feeling he’s just royally fucked up. “Report to Auror Starling,” Graves growls at him, “I’m going inside.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Newt shakes his head even as Stevens rushes off, “Finish up out here and I’ll take care of the Re’em. I don’t want him to feel crowded.”

Newt is back to the warehouse doors before Graves can protest, and it is only the fact that Newt is also, technically, a department head that keeps Graves from pulling rank and demanding he come back and explain what the hell is going on. Back inside, Newt finds the remaining aurors backed up nearly to the door while the Re’em paces and lows in agitation.

“I don’t think he liked you pulling a disappearing trick on him.” Gonzales, the senior most auror in the immediate vicinity, tells Newt when he works his way to the front of the group, “Seems mighty pissed.”

“Yes, well, I told everyone to stay back. He’s frightened, the last thing he needs is people rushing at him.” Newt replies quietly.

“Then what the hell are _you_ doing?” Gonzales gapes as Newt takes a few open steps forward.

“Approaching cautiously.” Newt murmurs, “Be ready with the crate.”

Gonzales is quick to point two more aurors to the crate waiting on the sidelines for its new inhabitant, and everyone watches carefully. Whatever the magizoologist is about to do, it’s probably worth paying attention to; so far, they’ve seen Newt bow to creatures, distract them with musk and various odd sounds, play fetch with one, and _sing_ to another (Newt completely ignores any and all mentions of that particular occurrence and also completely refuses to do anything remotely melodic again, no matter how much the aurors tease about it).

Even when all Newt really does is begin murmuring softly to the Re’em and holding steadfast eye contact in a way he never does with people and then pulls—grass? Is that grass?—from some inner pocket of his coat and tosses it carefully towards the beast, it’s still worth watching just for how quickly the Re’em goes from outraged to only wary and twitchy. Within a few minutes, the Re’em is licking the grass up off the ground and waiting for Newt to drop more and Newt is just a few feet away from touching it. The team of aurors behind him has relaxed out slightly and those a bit more to the sides can see the bright grin on Newt’s face.

“There we go,” Newt says quietly, spreading more feed on the floor before holding his hand up to signal for the crate to be brought closer, “I know you’ve probably just come from a box, but I can promise you this one is much more comfortable. It will be a short stay, and we’ll take you home.”

The beast snorts and backs away when it catches sight of two people bringing a box closer to it and Newt holds up his hand again. “Stop.”

No one is sure if he’s talking to the aurors or the Re’em, but everyone holds still anyway. The Re’em shifts on its hooves and snorts again and Newt slowly reaches into his coat for more feed. “Shh. You’re fine. Everything is…” Newt is cut off abruptly by the bang of a spell hitting the side of the warehouse.

The Re’em rears its head with a terrified roar and even as Newt jumps back, it’s probably only the distance that was already between him and the beast that saves him being speared by a long horn. Instead, the sharp tip catches Newt in the shoulder and tears across his chest, the sickening sound of ripping cloth and skin lost beneath the noise of the flames now eating across the wall of warehouse and the aurors trying to put it out quickly.

Everything is blank to Newt for a moment, pain rippling over him in sharp bursts, and Gonzales needs only to see the flash of blood on the Re’em’s horn before he’s ordering the aurors not on fire control to fan out around the beast. Wands raised and ready to fire, they are only stilled when Newt manages to wrench himself upright with a gasp. “No!”

The aurors hesitate and the Re’em turns its wild gaze onto the nearest one, lowering its great head in preparation of another charge. Newt shouts again, ripping his wand from his coat and pointing it towards the Re’em’s legs, wrapping them tightly in a glittering sort of rope and bringing the beast up short in its moment of distraction. It hits the floor hard, jarring Newt as he ties off the spell. “Crate.” He instructs over Re’em’s angered calls.

The spell damage on the wall now mostly contained, a few of the aurors break away to levitate the prepared box over to the Re’em, who throws its head and twists against its binds in an effort not to be contained once more. Everyone twitches, wands at the ready, only to watch in equal parts horror and fascination as Newt jumps over the side of the hulking beast, digs his knees into its neck, and braces himself on its horns. “No you don’t,” He hisses, the action further pulling at the gash across his chest, “Crate!”

“Get that thing in there now!” Gonzales shouts, leaving the aurors scrambling to obey.

As the crate slides into place just in front of the Re’em, the beast tosses its head again, throwing Newt from his perch. He lands with a thud but manages to roll so that it almost looks on purpose and pushes himself up from the floor, leaving an abstract smudge of blood behind him. Wand out again and clenched between his teeth in a way that generally makes everyone wince when he does it, Newt rushes around to the rear of the Re’em and braces against it, biting out a muffled “push!”

The aurors push the crate forward, fitting it first over one horn and then the rest of the Re’em’s head as it struggles. Newt braces against the back of it to the last, only pulling away to release its bonds before it disappears completely into the crate and the lid is slammed tight over the top.

“There,” Newt pants, “Boxed up and ready to go.”

“That’s great.” Gonzales comes up beside him, “Now we need to get you a healer, Scamander.”

“Just… just a minute.” Newt waves one arm weakly, trying to catch his breath.

Newt looks down at his front, left arm already wrapped instinctively up over his chest, and winces at the motion. He isn’t looking forward to cleaning and repairing his coat (nor does he relish the idea of asking Queenie to do it, though she is infinitely better than he is at refitting clothing) but he supposes his shirt and waistcoat can be replaced. There is a distant thought that tells him the state of his clothing shouldn’t be a priority at the moment, but the rest of the world is sort of starting to fade into the background. He’s vaguely aware of Gonzales prodding him gently in the side, attempting to herd him towards the doors, when Graves bursts in. Newt is a little glad the Re’em is already contained, or Graves would only have startled the poor beast further.

Graves looks startled enough as it is, as Newt makes for a bit of a shocking picture with a gash torn across his chest and his front completely stained in blood, his wand hanging limply from his good arm and even more blood smeared on the floor behind him.

“Shit.” Graves is at Newt’s side so quickly that Newt is almost inclined to think he apparates there, but it’s also quite possible the adrenaline is wearing off and he’s simply going into shock.

“Boxed up and ready to go,” Newt repeats quietly as Graves wraps his arm around Newt’s waist and bodily moves him towards the door, “Very upset, though. The wall caught fire.”

“One of the smugglers tried to make a break for it. Hit the warehouse.” Graves explains tersely.

“Ah. Upset the Re’em.” Newt shook his head, fumbling to put his wand back into his coat until Graves reaches over and takes it gently from him.

“I’ll make sure he gets what’s coming to him.” Graves assures Newt.

Newt nods vaguely and allows himself to be led over to one of the healers on scene. Everything passes as a bit of a whirl and Newt somewhat recalls attempting to sit up and check on the Re’em until he’s put to sleep so he’ll stop resisting.

When Newt wakes up, everything is a sort of white blur that eventually sharpens into the austere features of a hospital room. He aches but is pleasantly free of the burning pain that the Re’em’s horn had torn into him, and upon further inspection, he finds his hand held captive by… another hand. Graves is sitting in the chair beside his bed, dutifully filling out a form in his lap even as he holds onto Newt.

“I have woken up in more hospitals since I started working at MACUSA,” Newt rasps, garnering Graves’ attention, “Than I did the entire time I was travelling to research my book.”

“You’ve woken up in a hospital twice since you started working here.” Graves reminds him, shutting his folder.

“Mm. You people are alarmists.” Newt mumbles.

Graves fixes him with the incredulous look Newt thinks might be reserved just for him. “Do you even know how much blood you lost?”

“I was not keeping a measurement, no.” Newt turned his head a bit more to look over at Graves, “How much?”

“A lot.”

Newt blinks. “I see.”

“And before you ask, the Re’em is safe. Agent Markey is keeping an eye on it.” Graves informs him with an air of resigned fondness, “And you have to write up your report as soon as possible, because the way the aurors are telling it, you whispered sweet nothings to the beast and then wrestled it to the ground.”

Newt lets out an abrupt snort of laughter. “Have they been spying on our dates?”

Graves can’t help the laugh that startles out of him in return, covering his eyes with hand that isn’t still wrapped around Newt’s. “They gave you a draught for the pain, by the way. In case you were wondering.”

“Ah.” Newt nods, allowing his eyes to slide closed once more, “That makes very much sense.”

“I’m sure it does.” Graves still sounds amused, and brings their joined hands up so he can brush his lips across Newt’s knuckles, “Get some more rest.”

“Hm.” Newt is silent for a few moments before cracking his eyes open and glancing around the room, “How did you get everyone to stay _out_ this time?”

“Told them if they didn’t leave you alone they could help pick up the slack around the beasts department while you’re recovering.”

“Rude.”

“Effective.”

Newt shoots a final look at Graves before settling back against his pillows. “I am going to whisper far more sweet things to the Re’em than I am to you once I wake up.” He mutters, falling asleep to the sound of Graves’ stifled snort of amusement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [unbridledlove](http://unbridledlove.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr because they sent me a lovely ask and are very nice, besides


	5. Behavioral Patterns of a Politician (In Its Natural Habitat)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuing adventures of Newt the department head. Dealing with magical beasts is all well and good, but Newt finds that he must also deal with human beings, and is somewhat at a loss. He asks for advice

Accepting President Picquery’s job offer is simultaneously the worst and best decision Newt has made in a while.

On the one hand, he gets to deal with a lot of beasts that come through illegal channels that, without his intervention, would probably not have stood a chance (particularly not considering the motley assortment of witches and wizards they had staffed the beasts department with previously; Newt is beginning to think that reassignment to the beasts department was a punishment akin to being reassigned to wand permits, except the person handing down the punishment probably wished bodily harm on the person they were reassigning). There are very few animals Newt finds which he cannot make a case for—or space in his case for, should the occasion call for it—and even then, he knows exactly where to relocate them to. No need for anyone to lose their head. Or fingers or horns or various other body parts. It’s all very nice, even if Newt does have to deal with paperwork. And what’s more, he has the chance to _change_ America’s beast laws.

Which brings up the other hand- in order to change laws, Newt needs people on his side. This is problematic because Newt has only ever found himself with people on his side accidentally (he also manages to make enemies accidentally, and while he also makes those when he’s actually _trying_ , very little has ever come of his efforts to _try_ and make friends). Newt has managed to find a few kindred spirits among the people now staffing what has apparently become _his_ department, and Tina and Queenie and Jacob and Percival all seem to like him, and the aurors appear to feel as though they have some sort of proprietary claim over him (which is as mortifying as it is amusing, particularly when the healers had started physically shoving them off of pieces of furniture that first time Newt had ended up in the hospital after case with them), but Newt finds he doesn’t have very many… political allies.

The idea that he even needs political allies is somewhat concerning in itself.

Newt tries not to worry about it. He buries himself in his work and makes himself as useful as possible and educates anyone who will sit still long enough (agent, auror, politician, some unfortunate wizard at a café, it really makes no difference to Newt) and prepares himself as thoroughly as possible to argue his case as best he can. Sometimes, people are so confounded by the depth of what they didn’t know about magical creatures that they’re willing to pass on Newt’s suggestions to cover up their own ignorance. Sometimes Newt is fairly certain they agree just to shut him up, which is fine too as long as it gets the job done. But sometimes- sometimes Newt has to deal with people personally and that is what consistently trips him up.

He may have made some friends and some amiable acquaintances, but Newt has no illusions about his personal skills. He stands by what he told Jacob: people don’t like him, he annoys them. And that’s fine.

Or it was.

It was fine when he was at school and kept to himself and it was fine when he was in the war and everyone was too busy trying not to die to really care about people skills and it was fine when he was working a low level job at the Ministry and no one asked for his input on anything and it was fine when he was travelling the world and picking up beasts and getting by on minimal interaction with other people, but now- well, by now, Newt isn’t sure how _not_ to annoy people. And he certainly isn’t sure how to get them on his side if he can’t bring them around with solid evidence and facts.

So he asks around.

He tries asking some of the more outgoing members of his department, but their advice mostly ranges from the bland “Be yourself” (which Newt is honestly trying to avoid at this point) to the also bland “Be whoever you think they want you to be” (which Newt is honestly incapable of because he doesn’t _know_ who they want him to be). Agent Bloom suggests blackmail, offering to ask some pixies if they’ll act as informants, but Newt decides he’d rather not train pixies in espionage as they can be troublesome enough as it is. Agent Markey suggests several intimidation tactics popular among centaurs, but Newt is rubbish with a bow and arrow and doesn’t really want to get thrown into a MACUSA cell for assault, anyway, but thanks Agent Markey for their input and for the inspirational (if somewhat unsettling) centaur drawing.

Newt moves on to asking friends, which does not actually yield better results. Tina looks at him as though he’s lost his mind and reminds him that she barged in on an important political meeting not once, but twice just in the first 24 hours of knowing him, and if that doesn’t give him an idea of her ability to deal with political situations she isn’t sure what will. When pressed for “really, any advice _at all_ ,” she tells him that she’s found it’s important to speak confidently but not so much so that you come on too strong, that you must stand up straight but not appear overly intimidating, and that you must make eye contact but not to the point of making others uncomfortable. Newt is patently terrible at most of these things and anyway almost everything Tina told him was a contradiction that apparently depended on reading the situation, which Newt is also not very good at when it comes to people. He thanks Tina all the same, since he was the one who insisted she give him advice.

Queenie heads him off before the question can even leave Newt’s lips, instantly going on about how ridiculous politics are and how just being in a room with more than one politician or even department head is enough to give her a headache because what they say and what they think is a constant contradiction and she appreciates Newt because he’s exactly the opposite, he always means what he says. Newt informs her that is the problem and Queenie brushes him off. She insists Newt is too good to play political games- but, he kind of has to, doesn’t he? Yes, of course, he needs to get people on his side if he wants to protect magical creatures. Of course, but he’s terrible at reading people and isn’t sure how to appeal to them without scaring them off or irritating them. Queenie essentially becomes an external echo of everything that’s been running around in his head, then apologizes and tells him he has a very good base argument with good intentions and that he simply needs to figure out how to make his message more palatable to the less accepting people.

Newt honestly isn’t quite sure what happens after his whirlwind half-discussion with Queenie, but he finds himself sitting in Jacob’s bakery and, at a lull in business, asks _Jacob_ what he knows about politics. Jacob laughs at him. Then he apologizes but laughs a little more and informs Newt that if he’s asking Jacob for help, then he really is kind of screwed, isn’t he? Newt can’t help but agree. Finally, Jacob pats Newt consolingly on the shoulder, offers him one of the orange scones he keeps making just for Newt, and tells Newt that he is one of the most creative people Jacob’s ever known. He’s sure Newt will find a way around this. Newt does not have quite as much faith, but he appreciates Jacob’s confidence.

Finally, it comes down to two options: either Newt can ask some of the aurors (a terrifying prospect in itself, because they once tried to give him tips on _dating_ and that had been very near traumatizing, particularly considering Newt wasn’t even _looking_ for a date) or he can go straight to Percival.

Newt decides on Percival (this is both because Newt really just wants to _see_ Percival at this point and because asking the aurors at large for advice on anything is probably a health hazard). Percival has been a department head for some time, he must know some tricks to dealing with people that he can show Newt.

So, settled in Percival’s office after most everyone else has gone home and they both have some free time, Newt asks Percival how the hell he’s supposed to deal with the political side of being in charge of a department and Percival stops what he’s doing and _looks_ at Newt. He looks so long that Newt starts to get uncomfortable even though he mostly stopped being uncomfortable around Percival quite a while ago. Finally, Percival tells Newt that he isn’t good with people- which, yes, thank you Percy, that’s exactly why Newt is _asking_. Percival shrugs and tells Newt that what works for one person isn’t going to work for another person. Everyone has their own methods. Personally, everyone tends to look at Percival Graves as a force to be reckoned with and that is the part Percival plays- stern, powerful, firm in his beliefs, but not entirely unwilling to bend. Newt isn’t so sure he can do that. People don’t look at Newt Scamander as a force to be reckoned with. Percival insists that’s only because they don’t know Newt very well.

Newt scoffs. Certainly he’s good with beasts, but _people_ … actually, no, Percival does give Newt an idea.

Percival puts on a show. Which means maybe everyone else does, too. Which is, honestly, not unlike most creatures Newt encounters- putting on shows of dominance or making a show of appearing nonthreatening or making a show of appearing very threatening when they really aren’t at all and vice versa. And Newt can deal with that, Newt can read animals in an instant and adjust his behavior accordingly. If he needs to put on his own show of dominance to ensure a creature respects him enough not to _eat_ him, he’ll do it. If he needs to appear nonthreatening in order to gain a creature’s trust, he’ll do that, too. It’s all just a show.

And people, once Newt starts looking for the hallmarks, are surprisingly easy to read. No, he still can’t tell what they _want_ him to be, nor can he particularly find a way to endear himself to them or even make himself less annoying, but there are certain tells innate to almost every species and Newt knows how to react to those. Arcana Thorn is a dominant creature and must be treated as the powerful and respectable witch she is- and Newt has an advocate for the new list of items to be deemed cruel to harvest from creatures. Dimitri Starr is a vain creature and must be appealed to in a way that ensures he knows how very appreciated he is- and Newt has someone on his side for reformed breeding laws. Alexander Riggs is a skittish and skeptical creature who must firmly be shown the way things are- and Newt has a supporter for new laws regarding the keeping of magical creatures as pets.

It’s absolutely exhausting and Newt catches himself more than a few times falling into the body language and vocal patterns he uses for unknown creatures, rather than the ones acceptable for use around people, but for the most part he works it out. People are still vicious things and Newt isn’t particularly proud to be schmoozing along with them, but it gets the job done and he thinks—he’s fairly certain—that he’s making a difference.

He expresses this sentiment to Percival, who smiles a bit and kisses him and tells him that now everyone else knows what he’s known from the start: Newt Scamander is a force to be reckoned with.

(And that’s an absolute lie; Newt knows for a fact Percival thought he was a nutter from the start, but he lets it slide because it’s a nice sentiment.)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [on tumblr](http://solarmorrigan.tumblr.com/). Feel free to drop by, say hi, talk headcanons, make requests, whatever- I'm always happy to hear from people


End file.
